Socially Retarded Lemming

I have been following with interest Prof. Chua's essay in the WSJ, entitled "Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior."

I found the essay hysterical, satirical, and tongue-in-cheek. And, by golly, it was something I identified strongly with. Oh my god, that's Mom and Dad! Exaggerated many times over of course. But come on, stereotype or not, for me, the kernels of truth were there . . . get any grade less than an A? "Hey fatty—lose some weight."? Mothers spending "long grueling hours personally tutoring, training, interrogating" their kids? That was me and Mom in elementary school. I hear bells ringing.

The essay didn't strike me as offensive at all, but it apparently provoked a mini racial firestorm in the comments section.

"It's grossly stereotypical racial tripe!" It's not my place to defend Chua's article; I took it as a light piece, others took it seriously. What I thought was more interesting were the comments revolted at the parenting "model," or, rather, Chua's stylized version of the model.

A few themes were pervasive:
1) This parenting produces automatons. (See, e.g., "Welcome to the death knell of individualism, because with this kind of parenting gaining ground the world will be filled with mindless robots without the capacity to think for themselves!")
2) "There is usually some kind of social awkwardness." ("[S]ocially re-tarded eggheads!" How can they ever relate to people in a social setting! )
3) This parenting stamps out creativity and innovation and leadership skills and strategic thinking. Also compassion, apparently. ("[S]poiled, aggressive, immature . . . pricks who have little compassion and look down on the average Joe.")
4) The Chinese are neurotic! They have deep anger, resentment, severe eating disorders and drug use are common!

Uh, wow, okay. Way to criticize Chua for stereotyping and then do it yourself.

But as with Chua's stereotype, these stereotypes also have some uncomfortable half-kernels of half-truth. Some kind of social awkwardness? Hahaha. Before yesterday, I hadn't left my apartment in six days. Neurotic? They don't call me the control freak in clinic for nothin'. Automatons? To quote a hilarious Flight of the Conchords song, 0000001, 00001111. No, but seriously, I'm a 'grinder' in addition to being a control freak. I tire easily of arguing and questioning; I prefer to execute. And I've not infrequently questioned whether I have any capacity to think for myself. Like the Lemming (a game I did play as a child, by the way).

So I take their point, even if they didn't take what I thought to be Chua's. Does strict disciplinarianism stamp out creativity? Does pressuring for academic success breed lack of compassion? One commenter noted that Chinese-style parents never say "I love you." Also true here. We also don't do hugs or presents. Does that create bitterness and resentment and inability to connect with human beings?

I don't know. But I find it odd for folks to rag on Chua for ostensibly touting her own crazy parenting style and then say theirs is better. As if there's some magical fool-proof formula for turning out perfect people. Most parents try their best. And most people, I'd say, turn out okay. Maybe that's unduly optimistic of me. Or maybe that's me being an immature prick.